Quizás sea esta la pregunta que recibimos más seguido aquellos que, abiertamente, nos oponemos a encontrar en la política un ¨puestito¨, un ¨currito¨ o ,lisa y llanamente, nuestra fuente de recursos.

Asimismo, cuando me preguntan que haría cuando llegue al poder, y mi respuesta es que ¨haría lo menos posible¨ y que, por el contrario, me movería para que la gente haga, se me quedan mirando como si fuera un delirante que no entiende de que se trata todo esto.

Por ende, podríamos decir que ni las retribuciones económicas ni el poder (como capacidad de determinar la conducta ajena) me interesan.

Qué nos queda entonces?

Entiendo que la política, inclusive los roles gubernamentales, son esencialmente puestos de conciliación y fomento del diálogo. Al final del día, por medio de la fuerza y la opresión no se logra allanar el camino para que las personas puedan ser verdaderamente felices.

Me pasó, en mis años de purrete, de querer junto a una amiga muy querida formar parte de algún lugar en el cual pudiésemos ayudar a que ¨las cosas estuvieran mejor¨. Caminamos y caminamos, terminamos en una ONG constituida por personas de más de 60 años (Abuelos del Corazón) y todo esto a falta de un lugar mejor.

Con los años, y con diversas experiencias encima, me fui formando la idea que faltaban espacios libres en los cuales los que estábamos interesados en cambiar el mundo, pudiéramos hacerlo sin tener que venderle el alma al diablo.

Así, siendo los partidos aparatos de control y formación de tropa, estando las ONG demasiado condicionadas para poder accionar efectivamente y siendo, a la vez, demasiado impotentes para atacar las raices de los males, me encontré parado en el vacío.

No podía cumplir con las promesas hechas a un amigo muerto injustamente en un estúpido Cromañon, no podía cumplir las promesas hechas a un octogenario visionario que reivindicó el rol de los abuelos en la sociedad, no podía cumplir con otras tantas cosas, y todo por falta de un lugar.

Hoy, varios años después, me veo en la carrera de formar un Partido Político abierto, inclusivo, democrático y diferente. Por primera vez, desde que empecé a querer ¨cambiar el mundo¨ a los 13 creo haber encontrado ese espacio diferente.

Si me preguntan, mis razones para hacer política, les diré:

- Buscar que la mayor cantidad de personas sean felices (esto implica influir en lo objetivo y en lo subjetivo)

- Procurar que todos aquellos que quieran decir algo o hacer algo, puedan hacerlo.

- Enseñar a las personas la importancia de ser responsables y los beneficios de vivir en libertad.

- Canalizar de manera constructiva todas las cosas que me tocó pasar y sufrir.

- Que el último día, antes que caiga el telón, al cerrar los ojos sentir haber dado lo mejor de mi.

Representemos la situación con el siguiente ejemplo: resulta que hay un grupo de chicas feas que cuando salen a bailar son siempre dejadas de lado. Mueven el tuje y se despelotan pero no hay caso, están las chicas lindas que captan la atención de los que bailan. Las chicas feas, entonces, deciden hablar con el dueño del local y le realizan favores sexuales, para convencerlo de cobrarles una entrada diferencial a las lindas (o una preferencial a las feas) o ponerles un tope de horario para entrar. Tratando de limitar así que les choreen a todos los pibes.

Resulta que la medida no logra el resultado deseado, entonces las chicas feas amenazan al dueño del lugar en que se van a ir a la mierda, porque los pibes no les dan bola y que si no le empiezan a pagar por ir (tragos gratis) ellas no van. Claro que como la hija del dueño también es una chica fea, éste siente empatía y les regala tragos.

Las chicas feas siguen siendo feas, y nadie las mira ni las elige, pero ahora están borrachas, entran gratis y se sienten importantes. Ya no les jode tanto si hay chicas lindas o no, total estando borrachas no tienen problema de entregarse a cualquiera o mandarse cualquiera, dado que, en definitiva, la culpa ahora se la lleva la borrachera.

Unos de los recuerdos más desafiantes que tengo remiten a la época cuando pasé un verano viviendo en un hogar de chicos con capacidades diferentes o refugiados de sus familias, esto fue en el hogar “Nuevo Amanecer”. Escribo esto, porque recién estaba recordando un poco y encontré no sólo que “mamá susi” falleció de cáncer en agosto del año pasado, si no que el hogar pocos meses antes sufrió un incendio que destruyó buena parte de las instalaciones. En este blog me comprometo a visitar en breve al hogar y juntar las ayudas necesarias para restaurarlo en la medida de mis capacidades.

En algún momento mamá pensó que me haría bien pasar el verano en otras circunstancias y con gente diferente. Así terminé con una valijita en el hogar antedicho. Una casita humilde, en el corazón de Crespo, que albergaba una decena de chicos con historias desgarradoras de violencia familiar, abandonos o descuidos por simple ignorancia. 2 almas de esas que te devuelven la fe en la humanidad, Carlitos y Susy, se hicieron cargo de la tarea de construir un refugio para quienes no la pasan tan bien.

Y allá fui a parar, entre gallinas, huertos y personas con capacidades de todos los colores. Y así tuve que aprender a convivir con gente que no podía hablar, o no entendía la mitad de las cosas que les decía, o tenía arrebatos de violencia o cosas por el estilo.

Y son esas boludeces, las de vivir de cerca con el sufrimiento cotidiano, las de ver las penurias del alma, presenciar los actos más desinteresados de amor y llegar a comprender como se puede hacer tanto daño por ignorar son pequeñas experiencias que te van formando.

No sé si tuvieron la posibilidad de tratar de cerca con situaciones de este tipo. A parte de esta experiencia de “inmersión”, tuve un tío (oscarcito) que tenía una discapacidad cognitiva y me pegaba cuando era chico o se mandaba cagadas y me echaba la culpa. Y también, las experiencias con él, me ayudaron a entender que uno no puede andar enojándose por todo en la vida

A todos los que dan la lucha a diario contra estas enfermedades, sus consecuencias, a quienes ayudan a las familias que enfrentan este desafío, a padres, hermanos y hermanas: Gracias. Hacen que este mundo sea un poco más querible, un poco menos animal y, por qué no, felizmente ineficiente.

Porque la felicidad, al final del día, no tiene nada que ver con la eficiencia de mercados, ni con ser “exitoso”, ni con ningún enlatado posmoderno.

En memoria de “Mamá Susi”, Susana Mercedes Meccia de Sigvardt.

LAMBEAU                          This is a disaster! I brought you in
                         here to help me with this boy, not
                         to run him out--

 SEAN                          Now wait a minute--

 LAMBEAU                          --And confuse him--

 SEAN                          --Gerry--

 LAMBEAU                          And here I am for the second week in
                         a row with my professional reputation
                         at stake--

 SEAN                          Hold on!

 LAMBEAU                          Ready to falsify documents because
                         you've given him license to walk
                         away from this.

 SEAN                          I know what I'm doing and I know why
                         I'm here!

 LAMBEAU                          Look Sean, I don't care if you have
                         a rapport with the boy -- I don't
                         care if you have a few laughs --
                         even at my expense! But don't you
                         dare undermine what I'm trying to do
                         here.

 SEAN                          "Undermine?"

 LAMBEAU                          He has a gift and with that gift
                         comes responsibility. And you don't
                         understand that he's at a fragile
                         point--

 SEAN                          He is at a fragile point. He's got
                         problems--

 LAMBEAU                          What problems does he have, Sean,
                         that he is better off as a janitor
                         or in jail or hanging around with--

 SEAN                          Why do you think he does that, Gerry?

 LAMBEAU                          He can handle the work, he can handle
                         the pressure and he's obviously
                         handled you.

 SEAN                          Why is he hiding? Why is he a janitor?
                         Why doesn't he trust anybody? Because
                         the first thing that happened to him
                         was that he was abandoned by the
                         people who were supposed to love him
                         the most!

 LAMBEAU                          Oh, come on, Sean--

 SEAN                          And why does he hang out with his
                         friends? Because any one of those
                         kids would come in here and take a
                         bat to your head if he asked them
                         to. It's called loyalty!

 LAMBEAU                          Oh, that's nice--

 SEAN                          And who do you think he's handling?
                         He pushes people away before they
                         have a chance to leave him. And for
                         20 years he's been alone because of
                         that. And if you try to push him
                         into this, it's going to be the same
                         thing all over again. And I'm not
                         going to let that happen to him!

 LAMBEAU                          Now don't do that. Don't you do that!
                         Don't infect him with the idea that
                         it's okay to quit. That it's okay to
                         be a failure, because it's not okay!
                         If you're angry at me for being
                         successful, for being what you could
                         have been--

 SEAN                          --I'm not angry at you--

 LAMBEAU                          Yes you are, Sean. You resent me.
                         And I'm not going to apologize for
                         any success that I've had.

 SEAN                          --I don't have any anger at you--

 LAMBEAU                          Yes you do. You're angry at me for
                         doing what you could have done. Ask
                         yourself if you want Will to feel
                         that way for the rest of his life,
                         to feel like a failure.

 SEAN                          That's it. That's why I don't come
                         to the goddamn reunions!  Because I
                         can't stand the look in your eye
                         when you see me! You think I'm a
                         failure! I know who I am. I'm proud
                         of who I am. And all of you, you
                         think I'm some kind of pity case!
                         You with your sycophant students
                         following you around. And your Goddamn
                         Medal!

 LAMBEAU                          Is that what this is about, Sean?
                         The Field's Medal? Do you want me to
                         go home and get it for you? Then
                         will you let the boy--

 SEAN                          I don't want your trophy and I don't
                         give a shit about it! 'Cause I knew
                         you when!! You and Jack and Tom
                         Sanders. I knew you when you were
                         homesick and pimply-faced and didn't
                         know what side of the bed to piss
                         on!

 LAMBEAU                          That's right!  You were smarter than
                         us then and you're smarter than us
                         now! So don't blame me for how your
                         life turned out. It's not my fault.

 SEAN                          I don't blame you! It's not about
                         that!  It's about the boy! 'Cause
                         he's a good kid! And I won't see
                         this happen to him- won't see you
                         make him feel like a failure too!

 LAMBEAU                          He won't be a failure!

 SEAN                          If you push him into something, if
                         you ride him--

 LAMBEAU                          You're wrong, Sean. I'm where I am
                         today because I was pushed. And
                         because I learned to push myself!

 SEAN                          He's not you!

               A beat. Lambeau turns, something catches his eye. Sean turns
               to look, IT'S WILL. He is standing in the doorway.

 WILL                          I can come back.

 LAMBEAU                          No, that's fine, Will. I was just
                         leaving.

               There is an awkward moment as Lambeau gets his coat and
               leaves.

 WILL                          Well, I'm here.
                              (beat)
                         So, is that my problem? I'm afraid
                         of being abandoned? That was easy.

 SEAN                          Look, a lot of that stuff goes back
                         a long way. And it's between me and
                         him and it has nothing to do with
                         you.

 WILL                          Do you want to talk about it?

               Sean smiles. A beat. Will sees a FILE on Sean's desk.

 WILL                          What's that?

 SEAN                          Oh, this is your file. I have to
                         send it back to the Judge with my
                         evaluation.

 WILL                          You're not going to fail me are you?

               Sean smiles.

 WILL                          So what's it say?

 SEAN                          You want to read it?

 WILL                          No.
                              (beat)
                         Have you had any experience with
                         that?

 SEAN                          Twenty years of counseling you see a
                         lot of--

 WILL                          No, have you had any experience with
                         that?

 SEAN                          Yes.

 WILL                               (smiles)
                         It sure ain't good.

 SEAN                          Do you think you're alone?

 WILL                          What?

 SEAN                          Do you have a soul-mate?

 WILL                          Define that.

 SEAN                          Someone who challenges you in every
                         way.  Who takes you places, opens
                         things up for you. A soul-mate.

 WILL                          Yeah.

               Sean waits.

 WILL                          Shakespeare, Neitzche, Frost,
                         O'Connor, Chaucer, Pope, Kant--

 SEAN                          They're all dead.

 WILL                          Not to me, they're not.

 SEAN                          But you can't give back to them,
                         Will.

 WILL                          Not without a heater and some serious
                         smelling salts, no...

 SEAN                          That's what I'm saying, Will. You'll
                         never have that kind of relationship
                         in a world where you're afraid to
                         take the first step because all you're
                         seeing are the negative things that
                         might happen ten miles down the road.

 WILL                          Oh, what? You're going to take the
                         professor's side on this?

 SEAN                          Don't give me your line of shit.

 WILL                          I didn't want the job.

 SEAN                          It's not about that job. I'm not
                         saying you should work for the
                         government. But, you could do anything
                         you want. And there are people who
                         work their whole lives layin' brick
                         so their kids have a chance at the
                         kind of opportunity you have. What
                         do you want to do?

 WILL                          I didn't ask for this.

 SEAN                          Nobody gets what they ask for, Will.
                         That's a cop-out.

 WILL                          Why is it a cop-out? I don't see
                         anythin' wrong with layin' brick,
                         that's somebody's home I'm buildin'.
                         Or fixin' somebody's car, somebody's
                         gonna get to work the next day 'cause
                         of me. There's honor in that.

 SEAN                          You're right, Will. Any man who takes
                         a forty minute train ride so those
                         college kids can come in in the
                         morning and their floors will be
                         clean and their trash cans will be
                         empty is an honorable man.

               A beat. Will says nothing.

 SEAN                          And when they get drunk and puke in
                         the sink, they don't have to see it
                         the next morning because of you.
                         That's real work, Will. And there is
                         honor in that.  Which I'm sure is
                         why you took the job.

               A beat.

 SEAN                          I just want to know why you decided
                         to sneak around at night, writing on
                         chalkboards and lying about it.
                              (beat)
                         'Cause there's no honor in that.

               Will is silent.

 SEAN                          Something you want to say?

               Sean gets up, goes to the door and opens it.

 SEAN                          Why don't you come back when you
                         have an answer for me.

 WILL                          What?

 SEAN                          If you won't answer my questions,
                         you're wasting my time.

 WILL                          What?

               Will loses it, slams the door shut.

 WILL                          Fuck you!

               Sean has finally gotten to Will.

 WILL                          Who the fuck are you to lecture me
                         about life? You fuckin' burnout!
                         Where's your "soul-mate?!"

               Sean lets this play out. Possible "shepard" change.

 WILL                          Dead! She dies and you just cash in
                         your chips. That's a fuckin' cop-
                         out!

 SEAN                          I been there. I played my hand.

 WILL                          That's right. And you fuckin' lost!
                         And some people would have the sack
                         to lose a big hand like that and
                         still come back and ante up again!

 SEAN                          Look at me. What do you want to do?

               A beat. Will looks up.

 SEAN                          You and your bullshit. You got an
                         answer for everybody. But I asked
                         you a straight question and you can't
                         give me a straight answer. Because
                         you don't know.

SKYLAR                          Will? Are you awake?

 WILL                          No.

 SKYLAR                          Come with me to California.

 WILL                          What?

 SKYLAR                          I want you to come with me.

 WILL                          How do you know that?

 SKYLAR                          I know. I just do.

 WILL                          Yeah, but how do you know?

 SKYLAR                          I don't know. I just feel it.

 WILL                          And you're sure about that?

 SKYLAR                          Yeah, I'm sure.

 WILL                          'Cause that's a serious thing you're
                         sayin'. I mean, we might be in
                         California next week and you could
                         find out somethin' about me that you
                         don't like. And you might feel like
                         "hey this is a big mistake."
                              (getting upset)
                         But you can't take it back, 'cause
                         you know it's real serious and you
                         can't take somethin' like that back.
                         Now I'm in California, 'cause you
                         asked me to come. But you don't really
                         want me there. And I'm stuck in
                         California with someone who really
                         doesn't want me there and just wishes
                         they had a take-back.

 SKYLAR                          "Take-back?" What is that? I don't
                         want a take-back. I want you to come
                         to California with me.

 WILL                          I can't go out to California.

 SKYLAR                          Why not?

 WILL                          One, because I have a job here and
                         two because I live here--

 SKYLAR                               (beat)
                         Look, Will if you're not in love
                         with me, you can say that.

 WILL                          I'm not sayin' I'm not in love with
                         you.

 SKYLAR                          Then what are you afraid of?

 WILL                          What do you mean "What am I afraid
                         of?"

 SKYLAR                          Why won't you come with me? What are
                         you so scared of?

 WILL                          What am I scared of?

 SKYLAR                          Well, what aren't you scared of?
                         You live in your safe little world
                         where nobody challenges you and you're
                         scared shitless to do anything else--

 WILL                          Don't tell me about my world. You're
                         the one that's afraid. You just want
                         to have your little fling with the
                         guy from the other side of town and
                         marry--

 SKYLAR                          Is that what you think--

 WILL                          some prick from Stanford that your
                         parents will approve of. Then you'll
                         sit around with the rest of the upper
                         crust kids and talk about how you
                         went slummin' too.

 SKYLAR                          I inherited that money when I was
                         thirteen, when my father died.

 WILL                          At least you have a mother.

 SKYLAR                          Fuck you! You think I want this?
                         That money's a burden to me. Every
                         day I wake up and I wish I could
                         give that back.  I'd give everything
                         I have back to spend one more day
                         with my father. But that's life. And
                         I deal with it. So don't put that
                         shit on me. You're the one that's
                         afraid.

 WILL                          What the fuck am I afraid of?!

 SKYLAR                          You're afraid of me. You're afraid
                         that I won't love you back. And guess
                         what?  I'm afraid too. But at least
                         I have the balls to it give it a
                         shot. At least I'm honest with you.

 WILL                          I'm not honest?

 SKYLAR                          What about your twelve brothers?

 WILL                          Oh, is that what this is about? You
                         want to hear that I don't really
                         have any brothers? That I'm a fuckin'
                         orphan? Is that what you want to
                         hear?

 SKYLAR                          Yes, Will. I didn't even know that?

 WILL                          No, you don't want to hear that.

 SKYLAR                          Yes, I do, Will.

 WILL                          You don't want to hear that I got
                         cigarettes put out on me when I was
                         a little kid. That this isn't surgery.

               Will lifts his shirt, revealing a six inch SCAR on his torso.

 WILL                          You don't want to hear that. Don't
                         tell me you want to hear that shit!!

 SKYLAR                          Yes I do. Did you ever think that
                         maybe I could help you? That maybe
                         that's the point, that we're a team?

 WILL                          What, you want to come in here and
                         save me? Is that what you want to
                         do? Do I have a sign that says "save
                         me" on my back?

 SKYLAR                          I don't want to "save" you. I just
                         want to be with you. I love you. I
                         love you!

               Will, full of self-loathing, raises his hand to strike her.

 WILL                          Don't bullshit me! Don't fuckin'
                         bullshit me!

 SKYLAR                               (standing up to him)
                         You know what I want to hear?  I
                         want to hear that you don't love me.
                         If you tell me that, then I'll leave
                         you alone. I won't ask any questions
                         and I won't be in your life.

               A beat. Will looks Skylar dead in the eye. Lowers his hand.

 WILL                          I don't love you.

WILL                          Do you ever wonder what your life
                         would be like if you never met your
                         wife?

 SEAN                          What? Do I wonder if I'd be better
                         off if I never met my wife?

               Will starts to clarify his question.

 SEAN                          No, that's okay. It's an important
                         question. 'Cause you'll have your
                         bad times, which wake you up to the
                         good stuff you weren't paying
                         attention to.  And you can fail, as
                         long as you're trying hard. But
                         there's nothing worse than regret.

 WILL                          You don't regret meetin' your wife?

 SEAN                          Why? Because of the pain I feel now?
                         I have regrets Will, but I don't
                         regret a singel day I spent with
                         her.

 WILL                          When did you know she was the one?

 SEAN                          October 21, 1975. Game six of the
                         World Series. Biggest game in Red
                         Sox history, Me and my friends slept
                         out on the sidewalk all night to get
                         tickets. We were sitting in a bar
                         waiting for the game to start and in
                         walks this girl.  What a game that
                         was. Tie game in the bottom of the
                         tenth inning, in steps Carlton Fisk,
                         hit a long fly ball down the left
                         field line. Thirty-five thousand
                         fans on their feet, screamin' at the
                         ball to stay fair. Fisk is runnin'
                         up the baseline, wavin' at the ball
                         like a madman. It hits the foul pole,
                         home run. Thirty-five thousand people
                         went crazy. And I wasn't one of them.

 WILL                          Where were you?

 SEAN                          I was havin' a drink with my future
                         wife.

 WILL                          You missed Pudge Fisk's homerun to
                         have a drink with a woman you had
                         never met?

 SEAN                          That's right.

 WILL                          So wait a minute. The Red Sox haven't
                         won a World Series since nineteen
                         eighteen, you slept out for tickets,
                         games gonna start in twenty minutes,
                         in walks a girl you never seen before,
                         and you give your ticket away?

 SEAN                          You should have seen this girl. She
                         lit up the room.

 WILL                          I don't care if Helen of Troy walked
                         into that bar! That's game six of
                         the World Series!

               Sean smiles.

 WILL                          And what kind of friends are these?
                         They let you get away with that?

 SEAN                          I just slid my ticket across the
                         table and said "sorry fellas, I gotta
                         go see about a girl."

 WILL                          "I gotta go see about a girl"? What
                         did they say?

 SEAN                          They could see that I meant it.

 WILL                          You're kiddin' me.

 SEAN                          No Will, I'm not kiddin' you. If I
                         had gone to see that game I'd be in
                         here talkin' abouta girl I saw at a
                         bar twenty years ago. And how I always
                         regretted not goin' over there and
                         talkin' to her. I don't regret the
                         eighteen years we were married. I
                         don't regret givin' up counseling
                         for six years when she got sick. I
                         don't regret being by her side for
                         the last two years when things got
                         real bad. And I sure as Hell don't
                         regret missing that damn game.

               A beat. Will is impressed.

 WILL                          Would have been nice to catch that
                         game though.

 SEAN                               (breaking)
                         Well hell, I didn't know Pudge was
                         gonna hit the home run.

 SEAN                          Yeah? You got a lady now?

 WILL                          Yeah, I went on a date last week.

 SEAN                          How'd it go?

 WILL                          Fine.

 SEAN                          Well, are you going out again?

 WILL                          I don't know.

 SEAN                          Why not?

 WILL                          Haven't called her.

 SEAN                          Jesus Christ, you are an amateur.

 WILL                          I know what I'm doing. She's different
                         from the other girls I met. We have
                         a really good time. She's smart,
                         beautiful, fun...

 SEAN                          So Christ, call her up.

 WILL                          Why? So I can realize she's not so
                         smart. That she's boring. You don't
                         get it. Right now she's perfect, I
                         don't want to ruin that.

 SEAN                          And right now you're perfect too.
                         Maybe you don't want to ruin that.

               Will says nothing.

 SEAN                          Well, I think that's a great
                         philosophy Will, that way you can go
                         through your entire life without
                         ever having to really know anybody.

               Sean looks directly at Will, who looks away. A beat.

 SEAN                          My wife used to turn the alarm clock
                         off in her sleep. I was late for
                         work all the time because in the
                         middle of the night she'd roll over
                         and turn the damn thing off.
                         Eventually I got a second clock and
                         put it under my side of the bed, but
                         it got to where she was gettin' to
                         that one too. She was afraid of the
                         dark, so the closet light was on all
                         night. Thing kept me up half the
                         night.  Eventually I'd fall asleep,
                         out of sheer exhaustion and not wake
                         up when I was supposed to cause she'd
                         have already gotten to my alarms.

               Will smiles, Sean takes a beat.

 SEAN                          My wife's been dead two years, Will.
                         And when I think about her, those
                         are the things I think about most.
                         Little idiosyncrasies that only I
                         knew about.  Those made her my wife.
                         And she had the goods on me too.
                         Little things I do out of habit.
                         People call these things imperfections
                         Will. It's just who we are. And we
                         get to choose who we're going to let
                         into out weird little worlds. You're
                         not perfect. And let me save you the
                         suspense, this girl you met isn't
                         either. The question is, whether or
                         not you're perfect for each other.
                         You can know everything in the world,
                         but the only way you're findin' that
                         one out is by giving it a shot. You
                         sure won't get the answer from an
                         old fucker like me. And even if I
                         did know, I wouldn't tell you.

               Will smiles. A beat.

 WILL                          Why not? You told me every other
                         fuckin' thing. You talk more than
                         any shrink I ever met.

               Sean laughs.

 SEAN                          I teach this shit, I didn't say I
                         knew how to do it.

 WILL                          You ever think about gettin'
                         remarried?

 SEAN                          My wife's dead.

 WILL                          Hence, the word remarried.

 SEAN                          My wife's dead.

 WILL                          Well I think that's a wonderful
                         philosophy, Sean. That way you can
                         go through the rest of your life
                         without having to really know anyone.

               A beat. Sean smiles.

 SEAN                          Time's up.

Inútil hasta para ser musa de versos tristes,
Oid la de-cadencia de estos versos en vos inspirados,
Tus rotas cadenas del amor ya en mi no calan,
En verso anuncio tu muerte y mi vida.

No queda más que perdonarte tus traiciones,
Que desearte buena vida, sin rencores,
y dejarte olvidada en el rincón de lo inútil.

Fuiste buena y útil un tiempo, breve quizás,
Sin lamento, ahora elijo perderte del todo,
Conociéndote y sin necesitarte, digo “nunca más”.

Ayer tuve la posibilidad de conversar largo y tendido con una amiga encantadora. Psicóloga, por cierto, experimentada en la vida, y charlamos acerca de miles de cosas, entre ellas, lo que podemos llamar la histeria femenina.

Casualmente mientras indagábamos sobre las causas más comunes de infidelidades femeninas, de las confesiones conocidas y de otras tantas fuentes, surgieron cosas sumamente divertidas e interesantes que vale la pena rescatar.

Antes que nada, hay que entender, y para cortar un poco con el romanticismo pelotudo, que lo que pasa entre las piernas no se condice necesariamente con lo que pasa en el corazón. Pija y alma, concha y toro, son conceptos que bien pueden disociarse. Probablemente hablemos otro día de como se construye la sexualidad, pero hoy vamos para el lado anticipado.

Lo llamativo es que si bien las razones son tantas como mujeres y circunstancias, en buena medida pueden (según identificaba ella) englobarse en ganas de adrenalina (yo lo llamaría pija, pero adrenalina suena más francés), insatisfacción o no sentirse completa (que en definitiva es proyectar lo descompensado que está uno y responsabilizar al otro) y a veces, sencillamente, ser turra.

Quiero que entendamos un segundo, que no tengo absolutamente ningún problema con que nadie vaya garchando por ahí. El sexo es algo fantástico y no necesita mayor defensa. Pero lo que sí encuentro como muy pedorro es la falta de cumplimiento de los contratos. Supongo que viene con ser liberal, o con tener códigos, o con creer en el honor, o no sé, pero a mi me importa que si digo A, sea A y la gente sepa que puede esperar que yo voy a entregar lo más cercano a A.

Y es que si no se vuelve muy caro tener una relación. Si no podés confiar en la palabra del otro, empezás a gastar en informarte, pagás costos psicológicos y varias cosas más que no tienen sentido. Por eso es clave decir las cosas como son y si el otro no las puede manejar, ayudarlo y si no quiere manejarlo, entonces separar las naves y seguir ruta.

Sin embargo, acá hay un problema fundamental, radical, esencial y demasiado demasiado común. La gente no sabe lo que quiere. No, no me refiero a saber para donde se te canta ir a vacacionar o si te querés coger a esa minita o no. Si no, qué cosas te hacen ser vos? qué necesidades son tuyas? cuáles son realmente necesarias? El problema de hacerse preguntas, es que uno puede encontrar respuestas y en base a eso hay que hacer algo.

No digo “hay que hacer” en el sentido de mandamiento. Si no que una vez que te tenés en brazos, tenés que empezar a elegir. No adentrarse en uno mismo es la forma principal de sabotear absolutamente todo lo demás, porque lo atamos a nuestros impulsos, a nuestro capricho. Y el tema es que si bien existen estas pulsiones, si bien es totalmente auténtico que esa chica que está en el sillón de enfrente te abre las piernas y te deja ver cosas que te hacen olvidar muchas otras cosas y de golpe sólo te importa mandarte un clavado entre las vallas. Hay una etapa anterior de, primero, saber quien sos y ver qué cosas son necesarias para tu felicidad auténticamente. Y segundo, ver qué persona querés ser.

Y si no te conocés, honestamente, sos un esclavo. Recordemos que Ortega y Gasset decía “yo soy yo y mis circunstancias”. Pero si yo no me tengo a mi mismo, mi yo es una circunstancia más. Y entonces, aparece el látigo, entendido como dominación o control.

Quien no se controla a si mismo es controlado por otra cosa o persona. Quizás, el genuino desafío en esta vida, sea liberarse de los grilletes con los que nos forman y nos crían, romper con lo impuesto, quedarse en bolas con uno mismo y después empezar a elegir y a descrubrirse y construir lo puesto.

Y al que no lo sepa hacer, va a caer siempre en manos de alguien que sepa usar el látigo y sepa jugar con su fiera interior. Después no te quejes.